Something I have always done with the girls is over explain and talk about everything. When they were a couple of months old I was already talking to them as though they could understand every word.
YIP, now you know how Hubby feels being married to me, I want to unpack and talk about
everything all the time.
As hard work as it sounds, I really believe it has so much goodness. For the girls I see how it
prepares them in so many ways and helps them handle stressful moments that cause them so
much vulnerability.
Whenever we have plans and we are going someone new, doing something new, or even
going somewhere familiar but more people will be there than usual. Or even if people are
coming over to our house, I always like to prepare the girls beforehand.
I find that if I don’t do this before, the girls are so overwhelmed when they arrive, and they just
don’t have time once they are there to adjust and just enjoy.
I mean can you imagine for just a moment how they must feel.
Your parents who are the only people in the entire world you trust without question without hesitation without even understanding how or why you do. They take you out of your safe space to a place you not familiar with, a place with strangers that you don’t know but that want to hug and kiss and talk to you.
Surely you would want some warning or preparation or even just a say in how you enter
something like this? Its fast approaching a very busy season, lots of birthday celebrations, lots of end of years, lots of pre Christmas-get-togethers, holidays, and Christmas time. The perfect time to start trying this with your children if it’s something you feel they would need.
I have noticed a fine line with this too, you almost can’t prepare them too far in advance
because they still don’t have a sense of time and can overwhelm them more. So, I usually start
mentioning it about 2-3 days before. I ease into it and make sure the first day I mention it, it’s
very chilled very casual, most times they so into what they doing they aren’t even paying
attention, but you can see its registering when they refer to or respond to me the next time, I
mention it.
If I know we are going to see familiar people, but not people they have seen often I like to show
them pictures of the person, of the children so they can already start associating the people and I have also seen how they register and understand when they arrive and see someone familiar.
I think the most important step in this process is talking after the outing too. I like to chat to the girls to see how they felt, if they enjoyed it and what they liked most or what they enjoyed least. This helps me understand a little more about what unsettled them most about being there and how I can try comfort them and give them an opportunity to be more prepared the next time.
They may be small, they may be young, you may believe that all of this isn’t even necessary but
if there is one thing I have learnt being a mom, it is that we don’t give our children enough credit.
We often don’t listen enough and allow them the opportunity to also share how they are feeling,
or better yet allow them the environment and space to be confident and feel safe and secure.
Do you prepare your little ones? Do you feel it helps? Or is this something you are going to try?