Despite being told that the girls were ready to be potty-trained months ago. I knew that they weren't ready and sticking to my gut and not allowing me to be pushed into something I wasn't comfortable with - is something I am so happy I did.
I am by no means an expert on Potty Training, but if there is one thing I am sure of, it is that each child is unique and they will be ready for potty training at different stages and different ages. You will know when they are ready, so just trust your gut and follow your instincts and listen to your little ones - you will know when the time is right.
The girls have battled with their tummies for the longest time. They had severe reflux well into their first 7 months, even after introducing solids. As toddlers they started developing fear and anxiety around making a poo after they got constipated, Alaia more so than Gisela. She really had such a fear of poo'ing and could hold it in for days at a time. It's most especially because of this that I have been so anxious to get them potty-trained and didn't want to do anything to traumatize them or create more anxiety in any way.
I was the mom that never ever really wanted to introduce a potty and wanted them to just adjust to the normal toilet. I even bought the seat add-on last year already, that you can get for the little ones so they don't fall in. This even worked a few times the girls loved the novelty and would sit and make a wee or even a poo but then it was very short-lived and more often than not they would actually get upset if you wanted to take them to the toilet.
I don't know why there is so much pressure around potty training but I guess when it comes to parenting everything holds so much pressure. On Saturday before I posted to my Instagram stories that I was going to start potty training the girls I really hesitated for a while - I stopped myself at first because what if the whole training process was a complete flop would that make me a failure? The things we do to ourselves.
No, it would not make me a failure it would just mean they were in fact not ready and we would've just waited a bit longer and tried again. I also said to myself that if at any point they wanted me to put their nappy on again or wouldn't poo without their nappy I would try to encourage them but ultimately would follow their lead and help them feel independent in this process.
Since before I had the girls I have always heard about the 3-Day-Potty-Training method. It sounded appealing then and even more so when the girls came along. I read up on this a lot and spoke to so many people who had used the method but I learned a lot of things I didn't read about so wanted to share my experience.
1. POTTY
First things first. Get a good potty. I didn't want to spend a lot on a potty (never mind two of them), but after buying a very cheap small one last year I realised I needed to buy one that was sturdy and made the girls excited about their potty experience. I went as far as letting the girls choose the potty they wanted. Our Covid lifestyles have shown me a new way of shopping with the girls because I do not like taking them to the shops. So, I went online to Takealot and showed them a few pictures of my shortlisted potties and I got them the one they chose.
2. UNDERWEAR
Make sure you stock up on underwear in their favourite colours or characters. I made sure I had an ample supply of their favourite colour pink and then another batch with unicorns and rainbows. I had 10 panties for each of them - yes you heard right. It may sound like a lot, but those were all in the wash before the end of the first day. I am not wild about the girls being completely naked all day, but it 100% makes the process so much easier especially on day 1. I also want them to get used to the feeling of underwear and know that they need to remove something before they get on the potty, which on its own is a learning curve for them.
3. BE HOME
Choose the 3 days you are home with no plans. The key to the 3 days is consistency and perseverance. I chose that weekend because I knew I would be home, but I did forget that we were having family over that Sunday. It definitely did cause a bit of distraction with the girls and break the rhythm a bit, but I was so relieved on Monday last week, to see how quickly they readjusted again and were back on track.
4. BE PATIENT
Have patience and make it fun. This has to be a fun and exciting experience for you and your little one/s. You can't get agitated or frustrated with them when they have an oops or forget to take off their underwear before they sit on the potty. Most of all the patience to 100% be focused on their every move and constantly (every couple of minutes) remind them if they need to wee, they must wee in the potty. The sound of your own voice repeating the same phrase 100 times a day can be a little draining, but it definitely makes the difference.
5. KEEP THEM HYDRATED
Keep them super hydrated. That way, they will need to wee more often and you have more opportunity to get them to understand the feeling and process. This is a bit twofold because I think in the beginning especially they almost get so excited that they wee'ing that they stop to see or just get excited and stop, so they making a lot of small little wees. The first-morning hubby even said to me I think you can stop asking because they just wee'd but it was about 2 minutes later they had to go again. So all I am saying is don't let your guard down, their urge can hit at any moment, and they wee a lot.
6. REWARD SYSTEM & PRAISE
The reward chart worked for the girls. They love to be praised for doing something good, so being able to put a star next to their name and even get a little treat when they went to the potty was a great achievement for them and motivated them so much to keep going. Every time they said they need to wee or made the wee in the potty I would make it a huge celebration and for my girls, this was very important and I still try to do that as often as possible. This morning Alaia said, "Mommy mommy Hoppy wee quickly potty." I initially thought she just wanted to go wee holding her beloved bunny; Hoppy, but when I got to the toilet she confidently placed her Hoppy over the toilet seat and said to Hoppy, "Good Job Hoppy you big girl. Mommy Hoppy so brave."
7. THE PROCESS
I know, so many of the articles say that they are only ready when they can easily take their pants on and off. I personally didn't wait for this skill to be mastered before starting with the potty-training. Whenever I have the morning with the girls we practice taking off our pants and panties and putting them back on, they love to do things on their own but this is quite a skill to master - especially putting panties first and then pants after, so I still help to take them off in the rush to get to the potty on time and they often want to put it back themselves.
8. INTRODUCE THE BIG TOILET
I waited for after the initial 3 days and then slowly started to introduce them to the toilet as well. In the mornings after they wake up, I bring them into my room and we relax in there before going inside. I use the mornings to show them that they can wee in a potty and the toilet just so the notion of making a wee is not only linked to a potty and then if the potty is not around we have a problem. I still use the seat adapter just to make them feel more secure on the toilet. I got the Bumbo Toilet Trainer one also from Takealot.
9. MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS
Yes, it may be a 3-day potty training exercise but it doesn't mean within 3 days they will just automatically always go to the potty or tell you they need to wee. The 3 days is the start to it all just clicking but you still need to remind them and encourage them all the time. They are still going to get caught up in the moment and make an oops, patience is key, and encouragement despite the mistakes will keep them motivated.
10. DON'T PUT PRESSURE ON YOURSELF
Don't put pressure on yourself to get rid of nappies completely. If you feel they ready and you are ready then bravo mamma, go for it - you got this.
My girls are just not ready to have no nappies at night or during their day nap, and this mamma is not ready to wake them in the night. The girls have never been the best sleepers and if they are sleeping, I am not waking them. Gisela does wake up sometimes with a dry nappy but not enough times in a week or consecutively for me to think she is ready and Alaia woke up today for the very first time with a dry nappy. I want them to get 100% comfortable and confident with awake time potty going and when they are ready we will tackle the evenings. I am not putting pressure on them or myself and will wait for the time to be right. It is really amazing to see how well they adapt and even though they have their nappy on (in the morning when they wake up) they still say, "Mommy me wee wee."
So it is now day 10 on our potty-training adventure and the girls have made me so dam proud. The hardest part is absolutely trying to get them to stop while they are immersed in playing and go wee. But the constant repetition and reminding them of making a wee in the potty seems to still be the key.
My precious Alaia has surprised me the most and from being petrified to making poo and holding it in for days on end, she has been going to the potty to poo, sometimes even twice a day. She even wants me to put the potty under our dining room table or away from everyone so she can have her privacy.
With one incredible hurdle overcome, I think it is only natural to have one stumbling block too. Gisela who usually would poo no hassle at all is now not too keen on making a poo in the potty and will either ask for her nappy or much to my dismay make the poo in her panties. It is the most bizarre thing and she doesn't refuse the potty she just says she doesn't need to and then minutes later you find her with a little surprise in her panties.
I am not 100% sure how to overcome this but I am re-introducing a reward chart for number two's and hoping her seeing her sister play it out will also help her confidence.
These are just my experiences and I hope sharing them with you helps even in the smallest way on your potty-training journey. I would love to hear any other great hints and tips that we can share with everyone so please do share. Good luck Mamma you got this.
xx
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