I feel like I should be doing a support group introduction before I even start writing this post.
"Hi my name is Sandra and I rock my children to sleep, and I love doing it."
Yip you heard me right, I am a 'rocker'. They have a little blankie and their 'shoo-shas' (their dummies), and well then they have me too.
I don't just put them down when they tired and hope they will tire out, or self-soothe and fall asleep. I hold them and rock them, and sway a little and tap their little bums if I need to - whatever they need to soothe them into a nice sleep.
I always knew this was such a hugely debated topic but my goodness I didn't know people had such strong feelings about it. As a fellow 'rocker' these are the questions and statements you may have become accustomed to:
Do you rock your children to sleep?
You shouldn't spoil them that way.
You are spoiling them too much.
You don't realise what bad habits you creating.
Are you really prepared to do that forever?
Wait until they get too big and you can't carry them anymore because they so heavy.
It's not good for their confidence as they grow older.
Aren't you worried how this will effect them when they grow older?
I said to a friend of mine that I think I now realise why God didn't only give me one baby at a time. I would never put her down. I would carry her in a sling all day.
I rock the girls because when will I ever get this again. I've had my two babies we not having any more children. They are only little for such a short time and eventually they not going to want me to cuddle and squeeze them. When that day comes I want to know that I gave them all the cuddling and love they needed, and quite possibly I even needed.
So in response to the two questions; "Are you really prepared to do that forever?" and "Wait until they get too big and you can't carry them anymore because they so heavy." I'll do it as long as they need me to. It won't last forever because children do grow out of it and they do want their own space and they naturally won't need that to sleep. Will it maybe take my children longer than children who have never been rocked. I have no doubt, and well I hope so - more time for me.
The one I can never understand is, "You spoiling them too much." REALLY! I'm spoiling them with love? So am I giving them too much love? Is that a thing? Well then I am quite happy to be doing that. My poor little babies are going to be spoiled with all the love and cuddling they could ever need.
Don't get me wrong, I am fully aware of all the challenges that this comes with. I know not everyone will be able to put them to sleep. I have come to realise that rocking and soothing a baby to sleep is not something everyone finds natural. And that is okay, there is definitely enough of us to do the trick.
Yes I have less time to myself, because putting them to sleep especially when they over tired does take a lot longer. But it's okay too. I will get that time back. I am lucky in that they do sleep quite well through the night so when I am not totally exhausted from the day I still get in some good quality time and some sleep.
And the part that I love the most... when they fall asleep. Their little hands are either holding on to my necklace or firmly placed on my chest, their little faces are so peaceful and happy and you can just sit down and hold them. (Yip I even do that). I reward myself for all my 'rocking' effort and just hold them and take in the whole moment.
And the days when I am the only one around to do this. Like this afternoon when I got home from work - it proves more challenging. I tried to entertain the less tired one while I held the other and tried to put her to sleep at the same time. Today was my less successful day and by the time I put Gisela down, to start with Alaia, Gisela woke up again.
So today not my best day and because the girls didn't get a good afternoon nap when I got home, it was quite a challenge putting them to sleep this evening. BUT we still managed and the girls are now sound asleep and hopefully going to have a good night sleep.
So to all the mammas who don't like to rock or bum tap or sway - I have no judgement and think it's amazing that your little babas are able to just fall asleep on their own. There are definitely a million pros to this too, and in no way am I implying you love them any less.
And to all the mammas who rock, bum tap and/or sway their babies - I'll be thinking about you when I am doing the same tonight.
I do think it's hard to write a post like this without sounding like I am judging the moms who don't, but truly I'm not. I think it is most definitely personal preference and we all need to respect how each mom - mommies. So mamma the way you doing it, is just perfect and I hope you owning whatever method you have decided to use.
xx