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It will never happen to me...

So, here’s a post I never thought I would be writing. This all happened before Christmas, but I just felt so overwhelmed by all of it thought it was best to wait to send once all the Christmas and Birthday madness had settled. There was also a sense of shame and disappointment in myself, that I even 'allowed' something like this to happen. It has taken me this long to forgive myself and know that this wasn't my fault but that I need to be more equipped with ways to combat this in future.


You know that naive saying, we often find ourselves reciting... “It will never happen to me.” Well, the truth is, it will never happen to you, until it does.

I had the most perfect day with the girls that day. They were playing so amazing; they were so enthralled in anything they were doing and the 3 of us were just having the best time. We had a tea party with all the teddies and the girls were in full imaginative play, it was incredible. You know those days, the easier days you get in between the harder ones? The ones that just fill you to the brim. It was one of those days.

Later that afternoon, they were running after eachother trying to catch eachother - just having good old toddler sibling fun and after saying a million times, “Slowly girls, slowly, you going to fall.” Gisela low and behold does fall and knocks her head on the floor.


Shame I think she got more of a fright then it being a 'bad' fall (there wasn’t a bump or mark or anything, and in her history of bad falls this was not even close #lifewithtoddlertwins) she indeed cried but this time not her normal cry. There was no sound coming out. Just holding her breathe and stiffening up until eventually I had to quite literally shake her out of it.


She has never ever done this, so both Papa Bear and I got quite a fright, but she was ok and after a few minutes and lots of cuddles and love she settled again, and they were soon enough playing and running around again.


So about, 30 minutes later, we all sit down to eat dinner and the girls are loving their dinner (yay that day food was a win). Gisela refused to eat her chicken unless she could eat it off the bone. So, she’s eating nicely and loving it.


Alaia was eating the chicken in pieces that we had put on her plate and loving it. Then like her sister she also wanted to eat the chicken off the bone but out of nowhere just starts choking. Not the normal gag that sometimes happens and I just remind her to chew and all good a half second later.


My worst nightmare, she was choking and gasping for air which only made the chicken get more stuck. Papa Bear was hitting her back and even tried to get the chicken out with his finger. But nothing - she was just gasping for air even more.


Her skin tone was pale, and her lips were already going blue so I yanked her out the high chair flipped her upside down and hit her back and she vomited it out. We only realized then how many pieces she had in her mouth.


We were both sitting at the table with them watching both of them and this still happened. I had taken for granted that they are out of the ‘choking phase’ but gosh how naive I was. I can’t tell you how many times people say I’m being so neurotic because they not going to choke. The reality is even we as adults can still choke. Yes, there is a time when children are more susceptible to choking but the reality is, they can choke at any time.

It may not seem bad to some and I may again seem dramatic or neurotic, but we had a close call that could’ve ended very differently. A day that started off amazing could've ended a nightmare. Just writing that brings tears to my eyes and makes my stomach turn.

When hubby and I were speaking that night, we were both so tired, our bodies were even feeling stiff and felt as if we had added 10 years on our lives but more importantly, it showed me how unprepared we are for this kind of thing. How we need to be more equipped more confident in a situation like this.

Since I was pregnant, I have been saying I want to go on a first aid course and the girls are now 2 years old and I have still not done one.


Just last week a mom blog I follow @justamamma spoke about first aid through St, John FIRST AID e-learning course and how important it is as a parent to be equipped with the knowledge in these moments, and how that week I said, in the new year, we are going to do it. Now more than ever I know how badly we need to do this. I want to feel in control in a situation like that. I want to be able to just know, to act and not hesitate for a second.

Does anyone have any great first aid courses that they have done and could recommend? Would be so appreciative as I know get deep into research and select the right one. New Year’s resolution one ready and waiting.


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